Punt Family Power Rankings 2k23

It has been 3 long years since we updated the ole Punt Family Power Rankings, and I know you guys have been wondering where the family currently ranks. Well, lucky for you, dear reader, we added a new member and spent a weekend together (a month ago), so without further adieu the 2k23 Punt Family Power rankings:

1. Liza (⬆1) – Well, Liza beat cancer! If that doesn’t get you to number one in the power ranking, I don’t know what does. 

2. Noa Grace [pronounced like a southern woman](new) – It’s been so long since the other niblings were babies, I don’t remember what they were like, but I believe Noa Grace has to be the most well behaved baby our family has ever seen.

3. Jacklyn (⬆4) – Jacklyn has had an emotional 6 months. She had a daughter diagnosed with cancer, had a baby, made 1,000 trips to hospitals in two different states, all while winning a State Title in girls volleyball (they honestly aren’t that impressive anymore). A lot of work that needs to be recognized. 

4. Colin (⬆4) – Colin, I would like to preface that power rankings do not reflect where someone is overall ranking.  This is just a snapshot in time. Historically, Colin would (probably) be last if I did my job and updated this after every family function. However, the last 3 times the whole family has been together Colin hasn’t been the worst. I’d even say he’s been borderline pleasant. It’s a slippery slope though, Colin, so if you don’t keep it up I promise you you will be last.

5. Gail (⬆4) – At the time I initially wrote this, we were coming off a family weekend. A weekend of the family locked in the same hotel room together is Gail’s Super Bowl. How can you be coming off a Super Bowl victory and not be in the Top 5?

6. Meg (-) – On the Punt family long weekend in March, Meg did a great job organizing the hotel room and the pizza. Fantastic job! She didn’t invite me to the Wisconsin Punt family tropical vacation even though she invited her sister, Pam. But, we’re not going to hold that against her. 

7. Charley and Lydia (⬇4.5) [Tie] – Charley and Lydia are great, I love them both, however, they are both five! Five is a strange age. They are starting to get smart, and you can have conversations with them. They aren’t  toddlers anymore and need to stop crying. I get it, life can be emotional (Shoot, I cried 3 times last month, twice watching The Whale and once driving home from watching The Whale), but you have got to stop crying if you don’t get your way, or at least stop doing it around me. They are going to have to get over it. I haven’t gotten my way with this family for 30 years, and I’ve never cried about it.

8. See Post above

9. Eric (⬇4) – Eric hasn’t really done anything lately, but big things are coming, I can feel it.

10. Naters (⬇1) – Nathan did me a solid and bought us matching hats, which was cute. (We now have matching hats, flannels, and Nike Dri Fits.) That being said, he went on to cook pulled pork for the entire family. It was the worst pulled pork I’ve ever had. If I wanted dry, flavorless, pulled pork, I’d go to a high school graduation open house. I expected more from the Czar of the Lyon County Pork Producers.

11. Alvin (-) – After being unemployed like a millennial for 6 months, the big guy finally got a job. (It’s not that hard. Walk in and ask for an application. YOU call them the next day and ask for an interview! His words to his three children when they were each 16, not mine.) The only issue is he’s working for a rival concrete company! I might not work there anymore, but we are a Lynde family for life. Always have been, always will be!

12. Margot (⬇11) – Margot is the sweetest, loving, little girl in the world. How can she be number 12? Well, let me tell you a little story. As the Punt Family is staying together in a mega hotel room for the weekend, Margot gets up at 3:00 a.m. to go to the bathroom. Question: Who does she get to help her go to the bathroom?
    1. Her mom
    2. Her dad
    3. Her grandma
    4. The adult in the room who was making sure the kids were sleeping.
    5. Uncle Eric, who is up in the loft, the furthest away.

If you answered 5. you are correct! She scared the absolute crap out of me, tapping my face and waking me up at 3 a.m. with an interaction that went something like this:

 “I need to pee, ” she whimpered.

“Sounds like a “you” problem!” I retorted, as I turned and went right back to bed.

Sorry you had to be last Margo. The good news is, you can only go up from here.