On Monday, January 13th, 2020, an incredibly jet-lagged (don’t know if it’s a word, but it is now) Ricky traveled an hour to Brookings, South Dakota to take the Law School Admissions Test! I know what you’re thinking. “Why did you do this to yourself, Eric? You aren’t smart enough to get into law school.” Well, the answer is simple. I’m here to prove the haters wrong by getting into law school!
The real pre-story is my friend from middle/high school recently got accepted to and is currently attending Drizzy Law School. Now this friend, let’s call him CBS (a reference only he will understand), wasn’t the greatest student in the world during high school, so I got this idea. If CBS can get into law school, why not Ricky? Thus, I registered for my LSAT with no intention of going to law school, and wasted $200 all because I made a fake competition with a former high school classmate .
I registered in December 2019 for the test in January 2020. I didn’t really look at the date of the test, I just kind of assumed it would be on a Saturday. The last window pops up on the registration page saying something like, “Are you sure this date works? There’s no turning back once you click “ok.” We are going to charge you $200 dollars that you aren’t going to be able to get back.” I clicked “ok.” I knew I would be gone the first 10 days or so of the year on vacation, and this was after that, so I’d be fine. The second after I clicked “ok” I checked to make sure it was on Saturday the weekend after I got back. It wasn’t… it was the day after I got back. On a Monday, nonetheless.
Fast forward to Monday, January 13, 2020. It had taken me approximately 50+ hours to get home from vacation, traveling across multiple time zones, and the jet lag could not have been more real. So from the get-go, we were not in the right mindset to take this test. Still, we signed up, so we must persevere and finish the task. Thus, I made the hour-long drive up to my favorite college that I didn’t attend to take a test for a school I had no desire to go to.
I arrived on campus about a half hour early because I thought registration and what-not would be a real b word. The test people weren’t ready! LSAC, if you are reading this, I was not impressed with these proctors. They didn’t know what they were doing and made me nervous that my scores wouldn’t get in, and my test would be marked invalid.
While sitting outside in some lobby-type thing waiting for this hell on earth to start, some girl walks past me and sees that I have my LSAT admission ticket. This is the conversation we had:
Girl: “Oh, are you taking the LSAT too?!?”
ME: “Yep.”
Girl: “What year are you in school?”
Me: “…..I’m not in school…I’m like a real adult.”
Girl: “Nice. Are you trying to get into law school?”
(What kind of a question is this? If someone is taking the LSAT, no shit, they are trying to get into law school.)
Me: “No, my friend from high school got into law school, and I think I’m smarter than him, so I just want to get accepted, but I have no intent on actually going.”
Girl: “Oh…well, good luck.”
Me: “Thanks, you too.”
Finally, I’m walking into the test room. I only have one fear at this point, that I will have to shave my beard. The rules are very clear that on the day of the test you need to look like you do on your admission ticket. Here is a side by side comparison. (spoiler alert I don’t look the same)
Luckily, I didn’t have to shave and just took the test. I would tell you everything that was on it, but I signed an NDA, and I don’t want to break the rules of an organization that you literally have to be a lawyer to be in. So we won’t be discussing what was on the test, but I can tell you how it went…and it wasn’t good. I haven’t taken a test that’s not a buzzfeed quiz asking me “Order at McDonalds, and we’ll tell you what Disney princess you are” in 4+ years! I went in thinking, “This won’t be that bad,” but it was that bad. So, the test is five parts; three, then a break, then the last two. The first test after the break was reading comprehension. If you know me, you know reading comprehension is not my thing. At that point, I thought about making a big scene and quitting and walking out. However, I persevered and finished! ERICS ARE NOT QUITTERS!!!
Here is my post-test tweet describing my experience:
I had five people text me post tweet with the “Did you really take the LSAT?”…First off, you could have liked my tweet, ya jackwagon! I have very low self-esteem, and the only way I get any sort of validation is through social media likes (only semi joking). Yes, I did take the LSAT! Why are you surprised? I’m Eric, I’m the wildcard, I do what I want!
Ric’s Review: 👎👎 I went in as a joke/try to get into Mensa. Sadly, I don’t think I’ll become a Mensa member anytime soon (I need a 167 to get into Mensa, and there is no way in heck I’m getting that.). I’ll let you know in a few weeks what my score is.
bteamballer 