So I spent the first part of my College Football Playoff Saturday watching the new Star Wars Rise of Skywalker. As those of you who read my Christmas Card (the og readers) know, I’ve been trying to get back into caring about college football, and watching the Rise of Skywalker beforehand really threw my whole mindset off. Here are my predictions for the CFP game 1: Tigers, game 2: Tigers, championship: Tigers. (Published post games so if I’m wrong, “So be it”- Emperor Palpatine) But first, here are my thoughts on Rise of Skywalker! I’m going with a list format because it’s easy, and I want BuzzFeed to hire me.
Possible spoilers ahead, you’ve been warned.
- “You’re a parselmouth. Why didn’t you tell us?”- Finn
“I’m a what?”- Rey
“You can talk to snakes.”- Poe
HP already did the talking to snakes thing, Star Wars. Stay in your lane!
- My least favorite part of the new Star Wars movies is that they swear in them. Just because something is rated PG-13 doesn’t mean you have to swear in it. Let’s stick to saying things like Nerfherder and not @$$.
- Spoiler – This movie was slightly cheesy, and the scene where the Jedi before Rey speak to her fits this mold well. It was cool hearing former actors like Frank Oz talk to Rey, but hearing Liam Nesson gave me goose pimples. He didn’t do his Qui-Gon Jinn voice, he did his ‘What I do have is a very particular set of skills. I will find you, and I will kill you!’ voice. I wasn’t expecting Qui-Gon Jinn to give the best performance of the movie, but I guess that’s why JJ Abrams is the greatest director of all time.
- Spoiler – I have a co-worker (and friend), and we will text Star Wars quotes to each other about once a week. One of my go-to’s is “Red Five, standing by.” So, when “Red Five” is spoken in the last 20 minutes of the film, it made me a happy Ric.
- This is going to be my biggest point, which also involves the most thinking, but it’s the biggest problem I have with the lore of the Star Wars franchise. Star Wars has mentioned multiple times about bringing “balance to the force,” but we are never really told what this means. We basically eliminated the Sith at the end of Return of the Jedi, and Luke is the only force user left, and he starts his own little school of Padawans when his nephew goes rogue. You know when Luke is all depressed in The Last Jedi saying the Jedi need to go away…he’s not wrong! Spoiler – We end the movie with Rey being the the only Force user left. She is equipped with a yellow lightsaber, and I think hers being neither red nor green, but yellow, is supposed to symbolize the balance in the force. However, if she trains anyone, you can only assume that they will be the perfect neutral Ryen Russilo force user like she is. What would truly bring balance to the Force is to just not teach anyone how to use it, but let it die out and become an ancient art form and not an instrument for someone to take over the galaxy.
- Spoiler – Did we really need Rey and Kylo Ren to kiss at the end, just to have him die right after. We don’t have to make everything a love story. This seemed forced.
- Spoiler – What was up with Lando talking to that former Stormtrooper girl at the end? It just left unanswered questions. Was this his kid? When is Childish Gambino coming out with a new album, and will they make a reference to Lando in the new season of Atlanta?
- So in Star Wars A New Hope, the Death Star is powerful enough that it can blow up a planet. We now have Star Destroyers that can do that. It just seems like a bit much. I understand that technology is constantly getting better, but if this is the new standard weapon in the new Star Wars universe, I feel like planets will get blown up over parking disputes.
- I found 2 themes from the movie, and they contradict each other, but I’m gonna make it work because, after all, I am a wokedaddy. The first theme is ‘the whole movie is an allegory for the perseverance of the saints.’ Kylo Ren fell off the path but was brought back to the “good” side in the end because that was his fate the entire time.
The second theme is ‘the whole movie is an allegory for “we get to choose our own fate.”’ Spoiler – At the end of the movie when Rey is on Tatooine, the lady asks her what her last name is, Rey replies, “Skywalker.” We get to decide our own fate. We aren’t our parents children. You hear that, Al? My last name is also Skywalker, and there is nothing you can do about it!
- Ric’s review: Two Thumbs Up. I really enjoyed this movie. I’ve been a fan of Star Wars my whole life (my favorite color is green because that’s the color of Luke’s lightsaber in ROJ), and a lot of internet people have been crapping on this movie. “Like it’s Star Wars bro, just enjoy it.” It’s supposed to be fun, you know. I enjoyed it. I had fun. I thought it was the best one of the new trilogy. I liked this movie so much I cried at the end while Rey was staring into the suns. Not my best moment, but it was my moment!
May the force be with you!
bteamballer 