So we’re on blog number 2. Thank you, if you’ve made it this far maybe you’re willing to read a little further. (Just a useless Shawshank reference no one got) Before we get started I got one question about blogs, I’ll be done breaking the fourth wall after this post, what does blog stand for? My first guess is it’s a portmanteau for Biological+Log (as in entry, i.e. captain’s log) so I just get to write things that are affecting my biological life? Well anywho, the thing affecting my life this week is the wonderful world of marketing!
So, I know very little about the world of marketing. I got through about a season and half of Mad Men, thrice, other than that I don’t know much on the art of manipulating others to buy things. But here is a list of 3 of the greatest marketing strategies of all time. (1 great, 1 that is made just for Eric, and the worst marketing strategy of all time)
1. Share a Coke
On my kitchen shelf sits two “Share a Coke with Eric” bottles with this saying on them. Do I need these? No. Am I ever going to drink them? No. (One is diet so even if it didn’t have my name on it I still wouldn’t drink it.) Aside from the two in my kitchen, I have purchased probably 15 Cokes for my friends, family, and coworkers with the thought that they are going to love and cherish this forever. Sadly, I don’t think these bottles get the love and appreciation that I think they need and deserve. Here are my two favorite Share a Coke stories.
I bought one for my foreman who treated me like absolute crap to make him feel better about his sad life. I’m thinking, “Yes I’m going to finally get Blank’s approval.” I hand it to him, he laughs, and says “Thanks, Punt.”, and moves on with his day. The next day I find an empty Coke bottle on the ground with Blank’s name on it. Deep down I knew the bottle wouldn’t make it on his mantel but I didn’t want to be the one to find it lying on the ground.
Coke story number 2, I bought a Coke for my coworker Joe. I can say his name because if there is one person in the world I’m sure will never read this, it’s Joe. Joe’s reply to this wonderful gift? “What am I supposed to do with this?”
“Well, Joe, it has your name on it…” Eric replied realizing he’d made a mistake.
“Yeah, I don’t want it…” Joe says as he hands it back to me, making me feel like the biggest idiot in the world.
Basic Eric just falling into the trap. Buying things he doesn’t need because big soda wants him to. Side note: Pepsi realized that Coke had this amazing thing going for them and tried to counter it with emoji Pepsi. Nobody wants a Pepsi with a crying emoji. Everyone wants a share a Coke with Mendoza.
2. Purple
So those of you who know me best know that my favorite social media is good ole fashioned YouTube. For those who haven’t been on the Tube before, the worst part of the world’s greatest free video-sharing website is the advertisements. However, there was one particular ad that showed up before a video in about 2016 where I watched the entire 4:00 advertisement when I could (should) have skipped 3:55 of it. Now we could sit here, and I could poorly describe a YouTube video, or you could just go watch it. So here is a link.
A woman dressed as Goldilocks dropping eggs while telling me why Purple makes the greatest mattresses of all time made me go zero to 60 in my mattress purchasing desires. The bad news is that I didn’t need one then and haven’t needed a mattress…until now.
In what some might call the dirtiest ad campaign ever Purple has doubled down on weird marketing strategies that go right after my wallet with The Purple Boys, Quirky, and Geno Purple (Tim and Eric). I have been watching a web series recently (On Cinema at the Cinema), and the people in the web series are doing advertisements before the video. This should be illegal.
Moral of the story: If you just say random weird things, I will want to buy your product. So, the mattress in Casa Del Ric has seen it’s better days, and I want to buy a Purple so badly, but don’t want to look like a sucker buying one just because they have good marketing strategies. I can not think of a greater dilemma in life then not wanting to fall into a marketing campaign. If you have any thoughts/recommendations on Purple, please let me know soon because the labor day sale ends Monday.
3. Dakota Silencer
For my last marketing campaign that I will be breaking down is what I like to call “Dakota Silencers Big Boob marketing.” I get that sex sells, but this isn’t a bag of Cheetos or a Corvette. This is a silencer for a gun. If you are going to buy a silencer for your gun you don’t need to be sold on this fact. You’re either going to buy one or you aren’t. The fact that there is a set of big boobs should not affect your decision to buy a silencer. That being said, I drive past Dakota Silencer everyday on my way to work and have two silencers, and I don’t even own a gun.
bteamballer 